My wife and I usually go out to lunch on Saturdays after my day of backbreaking physical labor at the peds clinic. This Saturday we decided to break up the routine and hit TGIF's instead of our usual pretentious meals at pseudo upscale Mediterranean places, or taking a jaunt out Belmont Shores (because we wouldn't be caught at a regular OC eatery). I suppose we should've taken the hint when we walked and were greeted with a warning.
As soon as we passed the double doors we are greeted by "welcome to TGIF, we only have 2 servers today so its gonna take a while." My wife and I exchanged a puzzled glance and the hostess follow up with "but the bar has a full menu and regular waiters", so against better judgement we went and sat down. The bar is like any contemporary Restaurant Americana, granite counter tops, art deco stools, the quasi-nostalgic sports memorabilia on the walls, mixed in with black and white celebrity pics of the 50's, 60's, and 70's. And of course the multiple flat panel TV's adorning all the empty spaces, spewing mind numbing emptiness (Nascar and snowboarding), all of this blasted out by the 90's pop/rock sound track, which actually turned out to be the hi-light of my day.
Our server slash bartender did an amazing job of ignoring us, really amazing considering we sat right at the bar with only one other couple there to obscure her vision. She greeted us with a strained smile, and I placed our drink order while my wife whispered to me if I thought she was an old looking young woman, or a young looking older woman. I was just fascinated by her red bouffant lending her the look of a poodle with her hair dyed red. Unfortunately for my wife and her bouts of hypoglycemia the service was as slow as promised, giving plenty of time for one of our favorite pass times of people watching.
The other folks in the bar represented a slice out the American Melting Pot. We had the baseball cap wearing, beer swilling, tank top wearing, Nascar loving rednecks, complete with bad hair and a very mannish woman. Several groups of young people sporting faux-hawks, big jewelry, big buckles and dates with big hair. Our favorite was an intense looking woman sporting a porno style silk scarf and her equally intense husband with beautifully manicured eyebrows. They did everything with zeal, from the thorough reading of the menu prior to ordering, lest the miss an important detail, to the rapid and businesslike interaction with the poodle/server. Even when their meal arrived the act of eating was intense and purposeful, looking straight ahead without conversation. Stab the meat with the fork, slice with the knife, in the mouth and chew 32 times before swallowing and repeat. Fascinating, like synchronized swimmers in designer clothes hitting the poses perfectly. The only moment of levity was when our male lead signed for his check after flourishing his Mont Blanc pen three or four times and then almost strutted out without it, the porno scarf lady gave a little forced chortle and sent him back for it post haste. He still manged a marvelous impression of a rooster as he strutted past us on the way out. I told my wife "quick hand me my Mont Blanc that looked so fun".
The food was OK, the company was excellent, and the entertainment was spectacular. Thank you TGIF for a great Saturday.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Annoying Ads, Our Lying Legislators, and The Terminator
So two hours into the vast empire of Blogdom I've already decided to feed the corporate beast that is Google Inc., I've decided to see if I can generate some cash here with some Internet ads. Times are hard and I need to feed the corporate beast that is McDonald's (and many other fine fast food establishments), and the corpulent beast that is my stomach. And lets certainly not forget 4 teenage kids, three hungry dogs, and my lovely wife (gorgeous beast). Since I love living the "American Dream" lets add on: a mortgage, three cars and their associated expenses, cable, Internet (my yellow brick road to riches), the indispensable cell phones (all 5 of them), and ad nauseum.... So all of these fantastic services and objects have taxes attached to them: sales tax, gas tax, property tax, Internet surtax, federal surtaxes on phones and so on (now I'm nauseated). All of this so that we may collectively feed the unholiest of all beasts: Our duly elected government.
Our state government has a constitutional duty to have a balanced budget by June 30th of each year, and this year our budget for June 30th, 2008 was done by February, of 2009... Hooray for us we have a budget!!! Its a budget that's 111 billion dollars ($111,000,000,000.00), not to mention the additional billions of federal matching funds and directed funds. So why exactly are the state legislature and governor crying over money? Why is the richest state in the union, the sixth largest economy of the world on the verge of bankruptcy? So what took so long to get a budget together? At home we all have budgets, you pay the important bills, and if your lucky you have a little extra for the drugs and the midget porn at the end of the month.
California has a mini-congress set up, two houses of reps, and the make the budget and The Terminator signs it and everybody is happy. For the past five years though the state has been spending more than it collects in revenue (that's politico speak for the second highest tax rate in America). Every year the size of the state budget has increased ever since Arnold promised to stop wasteful spending from about 75 billion 5 years ago to our current bloated balance sheet.
The legislators here in the sunshine state come in two flavors, Democrat & Republican. The Democrats have been shameless in saying that its their job to "redistribute wealth" and maintain social programs, translation, if you make a decent income your going to be flipped over and done dry... The Republicans on the other hand are against taxation, to a degree, they want to lower taxes on business and wealthy people for a "trickle down effect", as the rich and businesses prosper they hire more and provide insurance and security to the working class, trickling down money to us common folk. You also get a trickle down effect when the upstairs neighbor overflows the toilet, in either case both are full of shit and you suffer for it.
You and me and the collective "we" all pay for welfare, food stamps, medi-cal etc. We also pay for public schools, fire and police departments, as well as the prison system. Unfortunately for us our social welfare programs have no over site and no time limits and nobody keeping an eye on where the money goes. What we do have is Democratically controlled state congress that thinks this is an excellent way to run things, and an impotent Republican minority that has just bent over and cried uncle under the pressure of the ruling party.
I'm slipping into an ugly rant here, and this is getting a little long.... I'll do the cliff-hanger and try and wrap it up in another part...
Our state government has a constitutional duty to have a balanced budget by June 30th of each year, and this year our budget for June 30th, 2008 was done by February, of 2009... Hooray for us we have a budget!!! Its a budget that's 111 billion dollars ($111,000,000,000.00), not to mention the additional billions of federal matching funds and directed funds. So why exactly are the state legislature and governor crying over money? Why is the richest state in the union, the sixth largest economy of the world on the verge of bankruptcy? So what took so long to get a budget together? At home we all have budgets, you pay the important bills, and if your lucky you have a little extra for the drugs and the midget porn at the end of the month.
California has a mini-congress set up, two houses of reps, and the make the budget and The Terminator signs it and everybody is happy. For the past five years though the state has been spending more than it collects in revenue (that's politico speak for the second highest tax rate in America). Every year the size of the state budget has increased ever since Arnold promised to stop wasteful spending from about 75 billion 5 years ago to our current bloated balance sheet.
The legislators here in the sunshine state come in two flavors, Democrat & Republican. The Democrats have been shameless in saying that its their job to "redistribute wealth" and maintain social programs, translation, if you make a decent income your going to be flipped over and done dry... The Republicans on the other hand are against taxation, to a degree, they want to lower taxes on business and wealthy people for a "trickle down effect", as the rich and businesses prosper they hire more and provide insurance and security to the working class, trickling down money to us common folk. You also get a trickle down effect when the upstairs neighbor overflows the toilet, in either case both are full of shit and you suffer for it.
You and me and the collective "we" all pay for welfare, food stamps, medi-cal etc. We also pay for public schools, fire and police departments, as well as the prison system. Unfortunately for us our social welfare programs have no over site and no time limits and nobody keeping an eye on where the money goes. What we do have is Democratically controlled state congress that thinks this is an excellent way to run things, and an impotent Republican minority that has just bent over and cried uncle under the pressure of the ruling party.
I'm slipping into an ugly rant here, and this is getting a little long.... I'll do the cliff-hanger and try and wrap it up in another part...
Oral Excrecences Clogging the Bowels of the Internet or My New Blog
Up until now I've been reluctant to do anything related to spouting off on-line. Really who the hell cares if I share myspace, or place my face in anybody's book? Blogging, well that seems a supreme waste of digital horsepower... better to join SETI or study gene folding. My wife seems to be of the opinion that I'm a little informed and a little bit intelligent - but not on any matters of art, literature, or basic understanding of human emotions - so I know nothing about anything that she loves. But thanks to my co-worker/friend Kristen and my desire to be a lemming here i go, answering all the questions nobody asked and putting my protuberant proboscis where it wasn't invited.
Usually I avoid any public expression of my opinions, no surer way to make enemies and start fights than to discuss politics and religion. None the less I'll do it anyway, it's my civic duty to tell everybody what I think and why they should agree. Politicians, athletes, and actors do it all the time and they're all rich and famous, so maybe....? I'm sure my logic there is impeccable. Hopefully I can actually keep this up and expand my horizons and learn about worthwhile pursuits as well like art, literature, and tabloid journalism.
Whatever the reason here we go, I invite anybody to criticize and comment to their hearts content. Just lets all play nice...
Usually I avoid any public expression of my opinions, no surer way to make enemies and start fights than to discuss politics and religion. None the less I'll do it anyway, it's my civic duty to tell everybody what I think and why they should agree. Politicians, athletes, and actors do it all the time and they're all rich and famous, so maybe....? I'm sure my logic there is impeccable. Hopefully I can actually keep this up and expand my horizons and learn about worthwhile pursuits as well like art, literature, and tabloid journalism.
Whatever the reason here we go, I invite anybody to criticize and comment to their hearts content. Just lets all play nice...
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